Babies begin communicating with us from the moment they are born – it’s just that we may not understand what they are saying yet!

It’s interesting isn’t it that if you were going to have an extended holiday in Spain or France, you’d probably make the effort to learn even a few basic words and phrases of Spanish or French. Yet when we are pregnant not many people learn how to communicate with the ‘soon to be here’ baby!

I’ve personally seen the huge benefits parents get when they DO learn how to do this, and the spin-off benefits to their baby such as:

• understanding of their baby’s needs and therefore capacity to meet their needs quickly;
• an increase in Secure Attachment between baby and child – which actually leads to an increase in brain development (more on that in another article); and also
• an increase in a parents’ sense of their ability to positively engage with their baby – which may decrease the risk of post-natal depression.

The Dunstan Baby Language (DBL) is the language you need to know. I am the only DBL Educator in Tasmania – if you’d like to learn DBL, please contact me for individual or group sessions. If you aren’t lucky enough to live here in beautiful Tasmania contact me anyway and I may be able to direct you to someone in your area. We are global!

Once baby has arrived and whether you have done DBL or not, there are some specific ways which young babies begin to communicate with you…

Around 5 weeks of age they begin to make eye contact and smile at you. Given that their vision is still quite blurry at this stage, they are actually responding to your voice, your smell, your gentle touch. They also begin to articulate some sounds, and babies start with the vowel sounds – eeee, ooo, aaah etc. They will love it if you respond back – you can make the same sounds, or just ‘reply’ in a soft voice with words. You’ll notice that very early babies pick up the idea of conversation ie they will ‘say’ some coo-ing to you and then stop – they are waiting for you to reply. When you do, then they will respond – pretty amazing at just a few weeks old!

Around 6-7 months babies will begin to babble ‘words’ and will generally start with either ‘b’ or ‘d’ as is ‘baba’ or ‘dada’ = at this age the ‘words’ have no meaning but are sounds which they have been able to make. B and D are the easiest two to articulate. When they have mastered them, they generally move on to ‘m’ and ‘n’ as in mama or and nana. And then around about 8-9 months of age things get exciting when they do Variegated Babbling. This is when they start to combine sounds and you may end up with something like ‘baba ma dada’.

The next step comes when they repeat ‘word’ consistently for the same person or object, so by 12 months they will usually know that the word ‘da’ belongs to Dad and ‘bo’ might refer to bottle.

What they understand (Receptive Language) is far greater than what they can actually articulate (Expressive Language). They will respond when you say: “Are your ready for your bath?’ and will show excitement – even they can’t yet respond with words.

How can help your baby to learn communication skills?

Most importantly, listen and respond! So whether they are making smiling at you, coo-ing or babbling they are telling you something and will benefit greatly when you gently respond.

• Talk to your baby when you are attending to their needs by telling them what you are doing eg ‘Mummy’s changing your nappy now and am going to clean you up and make you feel so much better.’ A young baby won’t know the word you use but will enjoy your interaction.
• Talk to them when you are doing chores such as shopping and tell them what you are doing – again it is about engaging with your child.

• The more parents communicate with their babies the better. More language going in means more understanding beginning to happen.

Have a great week talking with you baby – they will love it!

Happy Communicating!

In October we had Mental Health Day. Some mothers experience Postnatal Depression with many consequences for them, their babies and attachment, and for their families. Many chose not speak up because they think they 'should be able to cope'. Here's a story from a friend of mine, who did speak up and sought help. Thank you Shanelle for sharing something so personal, in such an open way…

"Today is World Mental Health Day.

I wanted to share this picture of my daughter and I from 10 years ago, when my post natal depression was at its peak.

You cannot tell someone's mental health state just by looking at them. You cannot know how someone is feeling by the way they present themselves to the world. You can never know the stories that someone is telling themselves over and over in their head.

I was great at wearing the mask of "perfect mother" when I was out in public. If you saw me out and about, you would probably think that I had adjusted to my new role of motherhood rather well. If there was video footage of what was happening in the 4 walls of my home, you would be shocked to know I was the same person.

There was constant anxiety over doing things the "right" way, if I was following the rules (of course my baby had a rulebook!). There was so much guilt associated with feeling totally out of my depth with the challenges of being a new mum. I constantly beat myself up over a traumatic birth experience and a daughter born with a dislocated hip.

I was so sad, so emotional, so teary. I was exhausted. I wasn't sleeping well in fear that something might happen. I felt so alone and isolated, like I was the only one going through this experience. I was ashamed that this wasn't a natural experience for me. Why hadn't I got the fairy-tale the media makes motherhood out to be?

I would put my daughter down for her nap and then lock myself in the walk-in robe to cry. Locked in the darkness the tears would stream endlessly.

I kept myself busy cooking, cleaning, washing and whatever else I could to keep my mind off how I was really feeling. It got to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore.

Finally I made the call to see my GP. A call that was probably one of the bravest and scariest things that I have ever done. A call that ultimately put me onto the path of receiving the help I so desperately needed and to getting my mental health under control.

10 years on, I now have 2 beautiful children. Most days are great, however there are times when depression starts to creep back in. Nowadays I am aware of the signs to look out for and can put the steps into place to get me back on track before I am

Statistics say that 1 in 2 of us will develop a mental illness during our lifetime. Mental Illness doesn't have to define you. It can be managed.

It's time the guilt and shame were removed from mental illness. People don't choose to get diabetes, nor do we choose to have a mental illness. We need to be able to have open and honest conversations about how we are genuinely feeling and know that these conversations will be taken seriously and are free from judgement.

Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness (www.peachtree.org.au) is an organisation that I found during my second pregnancy who focuses on peer support for mental health challenges during the perinatal period. There are several Peachy Parent groups who meet each week throughout Queensland providing support to parents from a lived-experience perspective. Having the support and understanding of other parents who have had similar experiences is so important on the road to recovery.

Please, if you need to reach out - contact your GP, call Lifeline 13 1114 or PANDA 1300 726 306 or Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467"

Shanelle

Happy Parenting this week, by taking good care of yourself Mums… it's important for you, and for your family – You are Special and Very Important!